gratitude (/ˈɡratɪtjuːd/ noun)… “the feeling of being grateful and wanting to express thanks” – Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary
mindfulness (/ˈmʌɪn(d)f(ʊ)lnəs/)… (1) the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something; (2) a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations…..
Scene 01 – It was one of these evening escapades with the camera to one of the famous Kolkata ghats. As I waded through the shots I end up clicking this one and for a brief moment gloated myself on a nice one, the ego receiving a serious boost…the shot seemed very quiet & calming (nothing of my doing in hindsight…it had just presented itself).
As the boatman approached the ghat & his passengers debussed…he received his charges & a sudden content flashed through his being, he put away the few hundred bucks into the secret fold of his lungi & just continued his job…ferrying people into the Ganges, out of their everyday rut, for a while, including me. A commoners getaway?
I looked on for subjects, the sun was fast setting, the river gleamed in the evening reflection, the Second Bridge was starting to illuminate in a conundrum of lights…all so beautiful.
Scene 2 – I reached my station, and the usual Puchka wala was all stocked up right outside the station. Being the sucker I am, had to gorge on at least 30 bucks of golgappas, thrice the amount that I shared with the autowala & metro rail, a third more than what I offered God in the daan-peti of the temple nearby & nearly the same amount I shelled out a street kid wandering around me (mom ensures that I do it every thursday!!!)
Scene 3 – Dinner table, cribbing reined – my appraisals this year was good but the company is going through a tough phase, my increment in jeopardy…..I suffered from a back injury years ago that plagues me every now & then, mornings are often miserable…..I haven’t saved enough for that one dream flat…..I am stuck with an SUV in a congested metropolis…..Mom’s ill, she keeps suffering, her knees have given up & she can’t visit her sister who stays four metro stops away…..Di rarely visits us, always busy with her son…..
Lookback once more – The injury is gonna stay but I just had a good outing…..may be the year will be tough but what am I doing about my monthly salary these days…..accept that mom will not move freely but she does so many things till date & cooks awesome, its a treat to watch the two sisters chatter endlessly on a mobile, they barely know how to handle…..accept that Di has a family & a son to raise but, I have another permanent destination besides my home…..
Lookback twice – Do I know what all I am eating, injury or no-injury…..I just enjoyed an evening of photography & awesome sunset, something I almost forgot…..I stay in a good neighbourhood & chatted my way to glory for a good 15 min before entering home…..I gorged on Puchkas like anything…..I am having a typical bong dinner with awesome levels of chit-chat & doubly awesome home-made food….awesomeness all around!!!
Lookback thrice…..gratitude – Mom’s still around…..I do have a Di & her family around me…..I got a nephew who would appease me to any levels for his pizza…..Mom still forces me to do good every Thursday…..I have money enough to gorge on Puchkas, handover some to the kid & donate at the temple…..I stay in this awesome city where I managed everything this evening within two hundred bucks, the city’s got rock-cheap metro & autowala…..I got to ride the Ganges under the setting sun, commoners getaway irrelevant…..the boatman worked while I enjoyed the waters & in all probability still traveling home while I am enjoying my dining table chats…..I could afford this camera…..I could afford this SUV & the 70000kms+ it has already done…..my SUV took me to so many destinations & handed me the pleasure of driving…..I am writing all this on my own laptop
Life is never easy, there’s always pain & happiness with a caveat of uneasy reconciliation…..There will be hits & misses coexisting in an uneasy truce…..Some people will leave while others will stay, uneasy jugglers of memories we are…..None of us have ever really tasted all that we want, life doesn’t work that way. In all probability, all of us are stuck at some points of our past & worried sick about some in the future. When I pay attention to the present moment, it just hits that there are so many “awesomes” in my life & I still am doing so many things not doable by others.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift…that’s why they call it present” – Master Oogway (Kung Fu Panda)
Just realized…gratitude makes one happy, no matter the efforts required to up the game & achieve the next level (career, life, et all….) if mindful of all that is around, I am thankful/happy for their existence & the ability to try for more…..
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Thessalonians 5:18 (The Holy Bible)
NB: If you are foxed as to what on earth is wrong with me today, I haven’t been hit on the head, not been in an accident, not down with flu/indigestion/constipation, not been bullshitted by my boss, not applying for any awards, not even writing for any award event, not appeasing God for some result/better appraisal & neither impressing a girl on social network…..just grateful being able to write & enjoying this particular moment of writing 🙂